A year ago today, Rev. Christana Wille McKnight began her ministry at First Parish Church in Taunton. As I look back on the bleak winter days leading up to the early spring in which the Board made the wise decision to answer the door when opportunity knocked, I am reminded of this scene from the movie “Princess Bride.”
First Parish Church in Taunton was “mostly dead.” But, as our wise friend Miracle Max pointed out, “Mostly dead is slightly alive.” Over the past year, the congregation at First Parish Church created its own miracle, led by our own “Miracle MaxKnight.”
One Year Later, Rev. Christana writes in her blog, “our vision continues to expand, relationships deepen and our ministry grows.”
As we look forward to many years together, my wish for the congregation in Taunton is, of course, “Have fun storming the castle.”
Posted by Barry on April 1, 2013
http://gatheredbythefire.org/2013/04/01/mostly-dead-is-slightly-alive/
from New England Church Project
I have said many times that some stories are true, some are not and some are a little of both. Many of our sacred texts are like that. Often we spend a great deal of time trying to prove that a particular story is true or not true and miss the fact that there is truth to be found even in the most fantastical stories.
Today is Easter and Christians around the globe are telling the story in the Christian bible about Jesus dying and then, three days later, rising from the dead. My reasoning mind tells me that people who are dead do not come back to life. I have never known of someone who is dead, coming back to life, so I don’t believe that this bible story is factually true. However, from my personal experience, I know that when someone we love dies, we can often feel them, see them and hear them long after they are gone. My father died four years ago. I still see his face when I look in the mirror. I still hear his voice coming out of my mouth. So I can believe that Jesus’ friends and family felt him, saw him and heard him.
I can believe that a man named Jesus walked around teaching people to love one another and that there is more to life than just grinding out a living. I can believe that there were people who felt threatened by this and killed him. I can believe this because there are other people who have done the same and faced the same fate. Martin Luther King went around trying to teach people about justice and love for all people. Some folks really did not like that and killed him for it. Gandhi went around trying to teach people about peace and freedom. There were people who didn’t like that either and he was killed. So, yes, I can believe that a man named Jesus was killed for preaching about love and salvation.
from New England Church Project
I can also believe that Jesus’ message endured well beyond his lifetime. I can believe that his message of love so inspired the people who heard it that we continue to preach this message and work to bring love and peace to the world thousands of years later. I believe it because I see people every day who have been inspired by powerful messages carrying on the work of those who have fallen. The messages of King and Gandhi could not be silenced by their murders. Susan B. Anthony never got the chance to vote but she and others inspired a movement that could not be stopped, not even with her death.
For me, this is the truth in the Christian Easter story. We are engaged in a struggle between Love and Fear. And Love always wins. Because Love is stronger than Fear. Love is stronger even than Death.
Posted by Barry on March 31, 2013
http://gatheredbythefire.org/2013/03/31/my-easter-story/
William Ellery Channing
The Unitarian preacher and theologian Dr. William Ellery Channing is often quoted by Unitarian Universalist religious educators:
These words are at the cornerstone of UU religious education. Sunday schools in UU churches can be quite different from the religious education in other churches. It is our stated goal not to tell children what to believe or fill their heads with memorizing prayers, scripture and rules. Instead, in our churches, we encourage children to, as we say in the fourth of our Principles, to undertake a “free and responsible search for truth and meaning.” We want our children to develop a spiritual curiosity and a critical mind to embark on a life long adventure with the sacred.
I am totally down with that. At First Parish Church in Taunton, our Sunday School program gives our children room to explore and experience the sacred in themselves and in the world around them.
With all due respect to Dr. Channing, though, we need to do more. While his words may well equip our children for the journey ahead, I fear that Dr. Channing has left them without any roots, without an anchor, without a home to base their spiritual journey. I didn’t grow up to be exactly like my parents, but I have always known who I am, who my family is and where home is.
In addition to the spiritual awakening and curiosity that Dr. Channing wrote about, I have 2 other goals for our children.
The first is that I want our children to love coming to church. I believe that our children learn best when they are having fun. While there are lessons in each activity, the kids are busy at Sunday School doing things that are fun – art projects, skits, singing, dancing, getting dirty. It’s the fun times that families spend together that forge the bonds that carry us through the difficult times. Happy memories call us home when we get lost.
One parent told me last year that her children had woken her up at 5am, “Is it time to go to Sunday School, yet?” It was Wednesday. Winning!
The second is that I want our children to feel that they belong at our church – that we are a part of them and they are a part of us. One of the first things that children learn is their first and last name and their address. Their first name tells them who they are. Their last name tells them to whom they belong. Their address tells them where home is. I believe that there is a monumental difference between hearing someone say “I go to a Unitarian Universalist church” and “I am a Unitarian Universalist. This is my church.”
I agree with Dr. Channing that our children do not need to memorize our seven principles or even know that William Ellery Channing was a Unitarian minister, but I think we can set the bar higher.
My name is Barry Sanders. I am a Unitarian Universalist. First Parish Church in Taunton is my spiritual home.
I pray that our kids can say the same. Except for that first part about my name is Barry Sanders. That would be weird.
Family fun
Posted by Barry on August 30, 2012
http://gatheredbythefire.org/2012/08/30/sorry-dr-channing-i-want-more/
Yet another story in the Giving Speaks series--Creating a Giving Culture--One Story at a Time--featuring guest author Dr. Jerry D. Wright*
The Nurturing Tree
Once there was a boy who really enjoyed a tree.
He enjoyed the roughness of its bark when he climbed it.
He enjoyed the springiness of its branches when he swung on them.
He enjoyed the crackle, the smell and the pillowy feeling of its leaves when he gathered them into a big pile and jumped into them, in the fall of the year.
Posted by Barry on August 23, 2012
http://gatheredbythefire.org/2012/08/23/142/
Aerial of Bovina, NY (Pop 633)
Last week, my mother, my brother and his wife, my sister, her husband and their 2 kids, my wife and I and our daughter and our combined 4 dogs went on vacation to Bovina, NY. We rented a large house on a small lake and spent the week unplugged.
The nearest mall was over an hour away in Oneonta. The nearest grocery store was about 1/2 hour away in Delhi. There was no cell service in a 10 mile radius of the house. We did have a dish TV, internet connection, electricity, hot running water and just about every other modern convenience. I know, “What happened to spending the week unplugged, Barry?” Did you miss the part about no cell service?
OK, so we weren’t exactly on one of those back-to-nature, cooking-on-the-fire, bathing-in-the-brook camping trips. The kids and several adults brought their electronic gadgets and several hours of on-line time were logged, especially on the rainy days. And I did watch the US Women’s Soccer Team in that exquisitely agonizing 123 minute semifinal win over Canada which made the gold medal match with Japan almost anti-climactic. That’s not the kind of unplugged I meant.
We spent the week unplugged from our routine. Scheduled music lessons were cancelled and replaced with free-spirited singing and music playing. Nights spent in front of the TV with our favorite recorded dramas were replaced with nights by the campfire filled with those wonderful stories that always start with, “Remember the time…” Everyday, well-rehearsed chores and duties were replaced with spontaneous trots to the lake for fishing and boating, long walks past acres of farm land, chasing the dogs, being chased by the dogs, watching the dogs chase each other, or just hours of reading and gazing at the landscape.
And eating. I think I gained 20 pounds that week. My family can cook!
It seems like, at home, on a regular day, we wake up and hit that treadmill of our routine, scheduled life. Sometimes it might feel like our life is running us. Don’t get me wrong. I love my life. I love just about everything I do and just about everyone I do it with. But there is something to be said for getting out of that routine for a little while.
Blizzard of ’78
When I was a kid, I used to love when a storm would knock the electricity out. It would be out for hours (unless it was February 1978, then it was out for days).
A night without electricity meant no TV but it also meant the whole family playing board games by candle light. For me, that was a great night.
I know not everyone is as fortunate as we are to be able to take a week off from work and stay in such a beautiful place. I am profoundly grateful that we are able to do this together each year. It’s so wonderful to be able to unplug from our routines and take time to re-connect with each other.
We’ve been back for a few days now and, for me at least, I am plugged back in to much of my routine. Maybe there will be a storm soon. I have some candles and a board game at the ready.
Posted by Barry on August 16, 2012
http://gatheredbythefire.org/2012/08/16/family-unplugged-and-connected/
Last week I 
celebrated my birthday. I had all the usual birthday type traditions – family and friends, cake, ice cream and presents. I was the center of attention, opening envelopes and tearing open wrapped boxes. As I paused to make a wish before blowing out the candles, I thought about how uncomfortable it can be to be the center of attention. I thought about how much easier it is to be the giver than the receiver. I reminded myself of the message I delivered at First Parish Church in Taunton at the Flower Communion in 2011.
Flower Communion is a wonderful service originated by Norbert Capek, the founder of the Unitarian Church in Czechoslovakia. During the service, each member of the congregation places a cut flower in a communal vase. At the end of the service, each person takes a flower home with them.
That is another story.
It is often said, “Tis better to give than to receive.” It’s true that we are often more comfortable giving than being the one given to. But, where would the givers be without anyone to do the receiving.
In my message entitled “The Other Half of Giving”, I asked,
Why are we so uncomfortable with receiving? Why do we not value accepting as much as we value giving? Maybe it has to do with how we picture people who give and people who receive. We have a bad habit of thinking about giving and receiving as about “us” and “them.” Giving is considered a noble act. We associate it with words like charitable and generous. We see taking and receiving as more about being needy or dependent or indebted.
In preparing for the service, I read a quote from Shakti Gawain at http://www.livinglifefully.com “receiving and giving…are like inhaling and exhaling. If you can’t inhale, soon you will have nothing to exhale.”
After reading the children’s book, “The Giving Tree” I concluded that giving and not receiving is the path to becoming an old stump. Giving and receiving is the path to gratitude and that is a very good place to be. We can’t be grateful if we don’t embrace receiving.
Back to my birthday. In the moment before I blew out the candles, I looked up and saw how happy everyone was. All these happy givers. I remembered what a wonderful feeling it is to give to someone else – giving a gift or giving praise or giving encouragement. In a way, by being a grateful receiver, I am also giving a gift – the gift of that wonderful, happy, warm feeling we get when we see how happy we have made someone by giving to them.
I wished that I would have many more birthdays, filled with family, friends, cake, ice cream and presents. That I would be a grateful receiver and allow others to be happy givers.
Then I blew out the candles. Then we ate cake. And I had the first piece.
Birthday Candles
Posted by Barry on August 11, 2012
http://gatheredbythefire.org/2012/08/11/without-receivers-there-can-be-no-givers/
The sun shines behind the storm
A funny thing happened on the way to work this morning.
I do my best thinking while driving. As a social worker and a parent, that means I get a lot of time to think. Sometimes I think simple things like what I am going to do when I get to where I am going, sometimes I ponder deep, spiritual and social matters. If I am going to be delivering the message at church on Sunday, I usually get it sorted out in my head while driving then put it on paper when it’s just about finished. Sometimes I get a good idea for Story for All Ages to share at our worship service on Sunday morning and get the details of the story sorted out on the road.
This morning was different. I was just driving along and I heard a song on the radio in which the singer tells about feeling broken hearted. It’s a pretty common theme in music, across just about every genre. For whatever reason, I started to think about people who are in a dark place and start to feel that it will always be that way. I was really disturbed by the thought.
Then it hit me. It came all at once - like a massive iTunes download – straight past my brain and into my heart. I drove straight to my computer and typed it up. I have to admit that I was moved, emotionally, while I was typing it.
Now, you have to understand something here. I don’t, and have never, written poetry or song lyrics or anything of the sort. I have been known to be a bit of a story teller and I preach a pretty good sermon now and then. This was different.
It was given to me. I’m just passing it along.
I know you’re feeling broken and burned
It’s like your whole world is in ruins
You can’t see past the rubble and dust
But I see you and you’re beautiful and strong
So follow my voiceI’m right here, calling to you
There will be joy
The sun shines behind the storm
There will be good times and laughter
There will be joy, again, for you.I saw you fall into that pit.
Frightened and covered in mud and blood
Nothing but cold walls closing in
But if you just look up, you’ll see me
Listen to my voiceI’m right here, reaching for you
There will be joy
The sun shines behind the storm
There will be good times and laughter
There will be joy, again, for you.I see you stumbling in the darkness
Tripping, falling, bleeding, crying
Can’t see the sun through your swollen eyes
I’ve been there and I know a way through
So follow my voiceI’m right here, waiting for you
There will be joy
The sun shines behind the storm
There will be good times and laughter
There will be joy
again
for you.
Posted by Barry on July 31, 2012
http://gatheredbythefire.org/2012/07/31/its-not-the-end-of-the-world/
When I wa
s a kid, I would visit my grandmother on the weekends. She would sometimes take me out for errands and shopping. I didn’t much care for the errands, but I liked stopping at Burger Chef for lunch. We always stopped at Burger Chef for lunch. She always bought meat at the same butcher shop. “What have you got for me today, Arthur?” “A very nice pork roast, Ma’am.” “That sounds nice, I’ll take it.” She always bought fish at the same fish market, too. She always bought shoes at the same shoe store. She always got her hair done at the same hairdresser. It always seemed to go the same way. “What have you got…I’ll take it.” On Sunday, we went to the same church her parents went to.
I think a lot of people in my grandmother’s generation were like that. They went were they always went. They got what was available. I imagine there might have been days when they weren’t completely happy with it, but they still came back every week.
Those days are over. That world is gone. That boat sank. That train has left the station.
When my family goes shopping now, we look at the flyers, check the websites, visit several stores, compare prices and if we aren’t happy with the service, we go somewhere else. Choosing a church was like that, too. We chose a church that meets our spiritual needs, respects who we are and helps us be the people and the family we want to be.
A few days before I attended the Faith Formations training in Connecticut, I read a story in USA Today entitled “Survey finds 19% without religious affiliation.“ The author of the article begins “Unbelief is on the uptick.”
The article spoke about the increasing number of Americans who are reporting that they have no religious affiliation. They are the “Nones.” Anyone involved in church leadership knows this is true because almost all denominations and churches are experiencing declines in attendance and membership.
The Pew researcher who authored the study offered:
”Young people are resistant to the authority of institutional religion, older people are turned off by the politicization of religion, and people are simply less into theology than ever before.”
My grandmother’s church is dead.
I don’t believe that “Unbelief is on the uptick.” I believe that a new spiritual and faith-filled world is rising from the ashes of the old world. As many as a third of Americans describe themselves as “spiritual but not religious.” This tells me that people still have faith and hunger for a spiritual life. Some call us “religious tinkerers.” I call us “spiritual consumers.” Spiritual consumers are searching for places to grow spiritually that will meet their needs. We won’t simply take what is being offered.
Faith organizations that will
survive in the new world have to be organized around meeting people’s needs.
If you left your church because they stopped meeting your needs, there is good news. You don’t have to figure it out on your own. Churches are getting the message. Go shopping.
Posted by Barry on July 26, 2012
http://gatheredbythefire.org/2012/07/26/grandmas-church-is-dead/
Many sources brings a richness to our faith
One of the things about Unitarian Universalism that I really love is our willingness to search for inspiration from a wide variety of sources. Rather than limiting ourselves to one sacred text or one set of traditions, UUs seek out inspiration from all the world’s religious expressions – Christianity, Judaism, Buddhism, Hinduism, Islam, pagan and other earth-centerred traditions – as well as Humanism, the words and deeds of inspirational men and women and, of course, our own direct experience of the sacred.
As a religious educator, I see my role as sparking a curiosity about the many religious traditions and spiritual expressions in the world. At First Parish, our children have learned about Christianity, Judaism, Islam and Paganism, in addition to our own brave and powerful history of committed social justice work.
This past Halloween, I delivered a message entitled “Wisdom from Monsters” at First Parish. Having a bit of fun, I talked about the diverse sources of spirituality that Unitarian Universalism honors and then pushed the envelope a bit further. What are your favorite monsters and what can we learn from them? Do movie monsters like werewolves and Frankenstein’s monster have something to teach us? Click the link below if you’d like to have a listen.
Regrettably, I neglected the sixth of our sources – Spiritual teachings of earth-centerred traditions which celebrate the sacred circle of life and instruct us to live in harmony with the rhythms of nature. Now I feel better.
Posted by Barry on June 29, 2012
http://gatheredbythefire.org/2012/06/29/finding-spiritual-inspiration/
